Half five, and the pan is on, and she has been standing at this stove for eleven minutes stirring something she is not going to eat.
That is the bit nobody writes about.
She read a thing about going away to a quiet place, and she thought about that for a while at the stove, because she would love to know where exactly that place is meant to be in a house with four people in it and a boy who needs picking up at seven.
She is not resentful. She would say that quickly and then she would go quiet, because at about four o'clock, when the second one came in and asked what there was to eat in a particular tone, something came up in her that was not far off it.
And that is the part she has been carrying since: not the hunger. The feeling that she is doing this badly, in a house that has not paused for one second to make room for it, and that the version she read about belongs to people with a different sort of life.
Come and sit down for two minutes while that simmers. I am not going to send you off to find somewhere quiet.
The quiet place was never the requirement
Let us deal with that first, because it is doing more damage than the tiredness.
Yes, Jesus went to quiet places. He also spent a great deal of His life in a crowd that would not leave Him alone, in houses that were full, with people asking Him for things at the door, and He did not treat that as the interruption of His real work. It was the work.
The quiet place is a good thing that some people can get and others cannot, in some seasons and not in others. It has never once been the entry condition. A woman with four people in a house and a school run at seven is not doing a reduced version of this.
You are not doing this badly, and your house is not in the way of it. I am not softening it: the written word says whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men (Colossians 3:23), which is written to people whose whole day was other people's work, and the Holy Spirit is what makes that land at five thirty with a pan on.
He is at the stove, and that is not a consolation
Now the bit that actually changes the eleven minutes.
There is a sentence in the Gospels that ought to be printed inside every kitchen cupboard in the country. Jesus is describing the last judgment, and He is listing the things that turn out to have mattered, and every item is domestic.
I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in.Matthew 25:35
Meat, drink, a bed. That is a kitchen and a spare room. And the whole force of the passage is that the people doing it had no idea who they were doing it for.
So the dinner is not the thing that gets in the way of your praying. According to Him, the dinner is one of the things He counts. You are not stepping away from God to feed your family; you are doing one of the specific things He said He receives personally.
You are not away from Him at that stove, and He is not waiting for you in another room. The written word says in him we live, and move, and have our being (Acts 17:28), which is a sentence with no location in it at all, and the Spirit is the one who makes a Tuesday teatime a place where somebody is genuinely with God.
And I am not going to romanticise you going without
Here is the guard, and it matters more than the encouragement.
I am not going to tell you that a mother giving up her own dinner is beautiful. That sentence has done real harm to real women, and I am not adding to it. Feeding everybody else while running on nothing is not a spiritual achievement and it is not what any of this is for.
Some people must not go without food at all. If you are pregnant or nursing, if you live with diabetes, if you take medication, if you have ever had a hard relationship with food or eating, if you are underweight, unwell, run down or exhausted, or if you are simply not sure, then speak to your doctor first and let their answer be the answer. A woman doing three people's running around on four hours of sleep needs feeding, not a further subtraction. It is written that He giveth His beloved sleep (Psalm 127:2), which is God on the side of a tired woman being looked after, and His Spirit does not ask her for one more subtraction.
And this is not a thing to hide from your household. Telling whoever else cooks is right. Telling your husband or your mother or your children something age appropriate is right. The privacy this site talks about is about not performing, never about concealing something from the people who feed you and would notice you going pale.
You are not being admired here for going without, and you never will be on this page. Romans 14:17 says plainly that the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, and the Holy Spirit is named in that same verse as what it actually consists of.
If today is heavier than a page can carry, call somebody real: your doctor, a counselor, or a crisis line, and the emergency services if you or anybody near you is in danger tonight.
So here is the turn, and it does not need the house to change.
God meets you at that stove and there is nothing lesser about it. The written word says that in whatsoever you do, doing it as to the Lord, is the thing being counted (Colossians 3:23), and Jesus put a plate of food on the list of what He receives personally (Matthew 25:35), and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes eleven minutes of stirring at five thirty a place where you are actually with Him.
You are not interrupting your praying, and you were never interrupting it. Colossians 3:23 says whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord, and it is addressed to people at work rather than to people at rest, and the Holy Spirit is at that stove and has been all week. What you are doing for them is a good deal closer to the middle of it than the version you read about.
Declare this over yourself
Say these out loud, in your own kitchen, in your own voice. The standing to speak like this is yours in Christ and it is not issued on the strength of how much quiet you have managed to find. Scripture is the ground under it, the Holy Spirit is what makes it living rather than merely determined, and what God does in an ordinary week is His, however He answers, and nothing on this page pretends to know.
- Stove I have stood at all week, you are not an interruption of my praying. Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily as to the Lord, was written to people whose whole day was somebody else's work, and Jesus put a plate of food on the list of things He receives personally. In the name of Jesus I stop apologizing for my own kitchen.
- Feeling that the real version belongs to people with a different sort of life, you are not God's word about me and you are not standing at this counter any longer. In Him I live and move and have my being (Acts 17:28), and there is no location anywhere in that sentence, and His Spirit is settling it in me at five thirty with a pan on. I am not doing a reduced version of anything.
- Father, You meet me here, and You have never once waited for me in another room. I thank You that You count the dinner and that You have never asked me to go without so that my family could eat. This one is out loud while my hands keep going, and I am not stopping to say it.
Colossians 3:23
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